Funny extracts found on UK Insurance Claim forms

the things people try to get away with :)

These are brilliant :) No idea who wrote them down.


   

   
 "I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I
 thought."
 --------------------
 "I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I
 realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."
 --------------------
 Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
 A: Travelled by bus?
 --------------------
 This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers
 on the claim form were:
 Q - What warning was given by you?
 A - Horn
 Q - What warning was given by the other party?
 A - Moo
 --------------------
 "I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an
 elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose
 concentration and hit a bollard."
 --------------------
 "On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."
 --------------------
 "I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion
 reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."
 --------------------
 "I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"
 --------------------
 "I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked
 her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."
 --------------------
 Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a
 hazardous nature?
 A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.
 --------------------
 "First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran
 into
 the rear of second car."
 --------------------
 "Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."
 --------------------
 "The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"
 --------------------
 "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and
 headed over the embankment."
 --------------------
 "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its
 intention."
 --------------------
 "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"
 --------------------
 "A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"
 --------------------
 "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"
 --------------------
 "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
 --------------------
 "I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I
 reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see
 the other car."
 --------------------
 "I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal
 joint gave way causing me to have an accident."
 --------------------
 "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian."
 --------------------
 "My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."
 --------------------
 "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."
 --------------------
 "I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a
 ditch by some stray cows."
 
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