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This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation
of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast
of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the
Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees the
South to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees
the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert
your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I
say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN,
THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE
ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT
VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I
SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES
WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
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An Anagram, as you know, is a word or phrase made by
transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase.
The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either
has way too much time to waste or is deadly at Scrabble.
Dormitory Dirty Room
Evangelist Evil's Agent
Desperation A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code Here Come Dots
Slot Machines Cash Lost in 'em
Animosity Is No Amity
Mother-in-law Woman Hitler :)
Snooze Alarms Alas! No More Z's
Alec Guinness Genuine Class
Semolina Is No Meal
The Public Art Galleries Large Picture Halls, I Bet
A Decimal Point I'm a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes That Queer Shake
Eleven plus two Twelve plus one
Contradiction Accord not in it
This one's truly amazing:
To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in
the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."
And the Anagram:
"In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent
hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns
rotten."
And for the grand finale:
"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."
Neil Armstrong
The Anagram:
"A thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on
moon! On to Mars!"
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This is from an actual trial in the UK.
A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she
noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on
account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more
amused.
She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She
had him arrested.
When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he
acted in such a manner. His reply was:
When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was
pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read "Coming Soon: The
Gold Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read "Sloans Liniments
Remove
Swelling. I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving
advertisement which read "William's Stick Did The Trick". Then I
could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat
under an advertisement which read "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented
this accident."
The case was dismissed.
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