Hilarious radio Conversation and other fun stuff

a bit of misunderstanding

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 This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation
 of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast
 of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the
 Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.
 
 Canadians:  Please divert your course 15 degrees the
 South to avoid a collision.
 
 Americans:  Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees
 the North to avoid a collision.
 
 Canadians:  Negative.  You will have to divert
 your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
 
 Americans:  This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I
 say again, divert YOUR course.
 
 Canadians:  No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
 
 Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN,
 THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET.  WE ARE
 ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT
 VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I
 SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES
 WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
 
 Canadians:  This is a lighthouse.  Your call.
 
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 An Anagram, as you know, is a word or phrase made by 
 transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase.  
 The following are exceptionally clever.  Someone out there either
 has way too much time to waste or is deadly at Scrabble.
 
 Dormitory                   Dirty Room
 
 Evangelist                  Evil's Agent
 
 Desperation                 A Rope Ends It
 
 The Morse Code              Here Come Dots
 
 Slot Machines               Cash Lost in 'em
 
 Animosity                   Is No Amity
 
 Mother-in-law               Woman Hitler  :)
 
 Snooze Alarms               Alas! No More Z's
 
 Alec Guinness               Genuine Class
 
 Semolina                    Is No Meal
 
 The Public Art Galleries    Large Picture Halls, I Bet
 
 A Decimal Point             I'm a Dot in Place
 
 The Earthquakes             That Queer Shake
 
 Eleven plus two             Twelve plus one
 
 Contradiction               Accord not in it
 
 This one's truly amazing:
 
 To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in
 the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."
 
 And the Anagram:
 
 "In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent
 hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns
 rotten."
 
 And for the grand finale:
 
 "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."
  Neil Armstrong
 
 The Anagram:
 
 "A thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on
 moon! On to Mars!"
 
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 This is from an actual trial in the UK.
 
 A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she
 noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on
 account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more
 amused.
 
 She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She
 had him arrested.
 
 When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he
 acted in such a manner. His reply was:
 
 When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was
 pregnant.  She sat under an advertisement which read "Coming Soon: The
 Gold Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read "Sloans Liniments
 Remove
 Swelling.  I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving
 advertisement which read "William's Stick Did The Trick".  Then I
 could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat
 under an advertisement which read "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented
 this accident."
 
 The case was dismissed.
 
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